Facts That Hurt

I've been showered with too many facts that has left my dumbfounded today. Many too personal and many that sank my heart to the bottom of the ocean.

Attending this Junior World Entrepreneurship Forum (JWEF) thing has definitely been a bonding session that has allowed the DARTE gang to hang out more despite our busy schedules. I am thankful for this group of people that have opened my eyes to a world that I've been shadowed from but I am having doubts about knowing this world of theirs. I might be in the world but I know I am not of the world. Hence, some things I find difficult to accept but I truly truly love the people which leaves my heart in conflict.

I've learnt many things today that as a 20 year old I should have known earlier. I may have known some stuff but it all seemed so distance to me that it is almost not relatable but not till now. Not when it is happening to someone you know personally. Sometimes I want to know things but at the same time I don't want to lose my innocence or be bothered by it. Right now, my heart aches for them. I can only imagine how much more God's heart aches for them.

Jesus I pray that You'll change hearts
I pray that Your will be done
As You open my eyes and filled me with compassion
I pray You turn them back to Your original plan

Teach me Lord, not to judge
Teach me Lord, to love them much
Use me Lord, to touch their hearts
Use me Lord, Your will be done

I Vaguely Remember

I vaguely remember the smile on your face
I vaguely remember the smell that you take
I vaguely remember your touch on my waist
I vaguely remember the love that you gave

Yet what I see even to this day is that I'm still haunted by my every mistake
All that we had just happened too fast simply because I was wanted to be a part
Yes I admit that you made me smile but I will never forget the tears as night falls
A year has pass but there's still scars, I'm still slowly falling apart

Seeing you daily doesn't help my case
you seem so fine in that thick brown case
I wonder if you feel the same way
I wonder if being here is a big mistake

Things start showing, people start digging
I can't help but feel that people are judging
It's probably just me, that much I know
But I can't seem to find comfort in the friends that I know

Will they understand? Will they walk away?
I'm afraid that it'll all happen the very same way
Keep your mask on, I say everyday
Yet I know that one day it might crumble away

I vaguely remember the friends that I made
I vaguely remember the support that they gave
I vaguely remember being so free
I vaguely remember just being me

To Daddy and Mummy From Me

So I was suppose to do something for my Creative Media class and somehow I ended up writing this story and then this so called poem. 

When I was writing this story, all that came to my mind was my family, particularly my daddy and mummy and how I often take them for granted.

I believe that no matter what, our parents are always there for us. So often we don't see and try to push them away but when we're truly in need, they are the first ones that come into our mind to call for rescue.

So thank you daddy and thank you mummy for always standing by me, for giving me that love that never ceases. I love you.

Integrity

What does it mean to be a person of integrity? We are living in a time and age where integrity is a scarce characteristic in a person. Sometimes I wonder how people could behave in such ways without feeling even a tinge of guilt.

It's so common that people who cheat and lie are better off than those who do the right thing. Is being better off really better off than having integrity and dignity? 

Standing up for what is right could be so hard. You often end up in the losing end, feeling suckish when you see the people around you succeed. I don't know if I'm more upset about the fact that people do better when they cheat or that people are so ignorant doing things that they know it's wrong.

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard but you know in the end that it's for God's glory.

Dear Jesus, thank You for giving me the strength to do the right thing. My prayer this day is for the people to know the value of integrity to have the boldness to stand up for what is right. Continue to help me to be more like You. Help my life to be a living testimony unto Your Name. May my actions and words reflect Your image. In Jesus' Name I pray.

#20Facts

So there's this thing called 20 facts about me trending on Instagram now. I guess narcotizing effect finally got to people. Soon this will get old and there will be something new trending.

1. I am a princess because my Father is the King of kings. (How awesome this that?) I believe that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. 

2. I have a baby pillow named Binky which I HAVE TO bring when I travel. Oh and I have a reindeer named Cuddly. 

3. I have naturally wavy hair but I would pretty much like straight manageable hair. Hey I'm not complaining. I'm just saying. My wavy hair can look pretty good at times. 

4. I have a biological sister which I think is a genius and I'm so proud of her. You guys are looking at the soon-to-be Dr Lim here! #FunFactsWithGenie

I might have had some jealous moments but that doesn't make me love her less. 

Did I mention WE DO NOT LOOK ALIKE?

5. I love cartoons. My favorite is Lion King. I still watch cartoons online till now and I ain't gonna grow up. I also make it a MUST to watch Lion King at least once a year.

6. I am currently teaching Sunday School and it makes me soooooooooo happy. 

7. I could be the best or the worst person to work with. Why do I say so? I can be too nice sometimes. Let's be realistic here. When you're nice, people tend to take advantage of you. I am also a perfectionist when it comes to things I'm serious about. If you don't do your part or you don't do it up to standard, I WILL. And I won't get mad at you. I wouldn't even tell you cause I feel bad if I ask you to redo things. People I work with for assignments will know. So tell me if this is a good thing or a bad thing. 

8. I have a twinny named Pebbles and she has a boyfriend called Sheepz. No joke. Pebbles but she's not a rock, Sheepz but he's not an animal. I do not have an imaginary friends. We found out we are both so twinny-like when I accidentally read her journal during JS. I could never forget that moment when we lied there on the basketball court sharing our hearts out about ourselves and our experiences. Even till now we still go through the same things at almost the same time. No joke. 

9. I like all things pretty. (Clothes, dresses, nails, necklaces, bracelets, nail polish...)

10. Part of me is a girly girl. 

11. Part of me is tougher than a dude. I mean it. 

12. When I have a boyfriend, I would like to receive a necklace with a heart on it. Simply because I've always wanted a necklace with a heart. A necklace with a heart from family would be even more valuable.

13. I love creative art (music, dance, drama..) but I have ducky feet so I can't dance.

14. I have feet so broad that I call them duck feet and they're the reason I can't wear nice footwear. 

15. I DO NOT DO MORNINGS. When I hear the M word I get very very upset. 

The only time I do mornings is when it's for a good cause. I could wake up if I have to but I'd like mornings better if they started later. 

16. I love to SLEEEEP. It's one of my favorite words. I used to sleep in the train from Klang to KL Central and I would wake up just in time to get down. I also used to sleep standing in the LRT when there's no seats in the morning.

Sleeping 12 hours a day is easy peasy. 

17. I've learnt to set my goals high so when I fall, it wouldn't look that ugly. 

18. I'm an introvert but I can be really noisy with the people I'm comfortable with. Why did I even decide to take mass comm? I'm socially awkward in new places. When I'm socially awkward, I talk to myself cause it's comfort. 

19. I like to be seen as the independent, strong girl to the people around me but I like to depend on the people closest to me. It's always good to have a shoulder to lean on. 

20. I admit that being a Christian ain't easy. So many things to watch out for but I know that it's for my own good and my life is bought by a price so I'm suppose to live for God. Honestly, I'm trying to surrender my all to God and be that shining light that He has called me to be. Striving for perfection for His Name and His Renown. My desire is that my story will be His Glory. 

I'm not really a fan of trends but I would say this is something really nice to blog and 20 facts are too easy. I could go on and on and on but I won't. So here's the last fact because I just had to.

21. This is my favorite picture for many reasons. I'm wearing my favorite shirt, it's a picture with the coolest person/mentor/woman I've ever known, it was taken by an iPhone, and WE FINALLY DID THE BUZZ CUT!!! We're cool like that!

Okay okay last one because I feel bad for not doing this. 

22. The best year I had among the 19 years of my life is when I was 18 because I've met the most amazing people ever and I had the time of my life thanks to them. JS and UTAR is where I met the people who has made the biggest impact in my life. 

This is just a segment of the people I love the most.

Writing this post just reminded me of how blessed I am and I have no rights to complain about things.

Thank You Daddy for all the blessings you've given to me. Continue to write my story as Your story. 

Not Hopping Anymore

Work work work. Had my first job for 3 months at this lovely place called Letzhop. I would say it's a love-hate relationship.

I would say that the 3 months I've worked in Letzhop as an underpaid labourer has been quite an experience. I still don't understand why would parents want to send their 4 year old kids for the same tuition 3 days in a week. It totally doesn't make sense. THEY'RE FOUR YEARS OLD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!! When I was 4, I was having the time of my life being a kid. Staying at home, watching tv and playing. NOT having tuition classes. Parents nowadays. Shame on you. 

When you have too much time to prepare for lessons,
you draw on the board.

The progress throughout the months working was from 1 class to 2 classes to 3 classes per week of my four working days. Different classes, different students, different experiences. Technically it was like I love hate my job, then I love my job, then I hate my job, then it's not that bad. Hence came about my conclusion of the love-hate relationship.

There are times when my boss leaves me alone in the centre and I got to do my own thing/prepare for the lesson, I literally got to do my own things. Scroll through social medias and watch tv series or movies. It was that great but I would say that's not my favorite part of my job. The favorite part was actually preparing the crafts, doing crafts with the kids, taking pictures of them, and seeing their work being pasted on the walls or doors of the classrooms.
#AchievementUnlock

Actually sometimes I wonder how are the two little monsters right now. Some part of me actually misses them though some part of me is rejoicing that I don't have to deal with them anymore. Teaching this two kids was a real test of patience. Copping with a slow learner and a fast learner at the same time isn't as easy as it seems though they're both 4 year olds. You could see the difference in their personality, intelligence and maturity.

The 2 kids that came for class 3 days a week class was definitely the cutest couple ever. A boy and a girl. Awww. It's funny to see the girl boss the boy around. Seeing these 2 through the 2 months of classes was like visually learning Social Psychology. The theories are true! Sometimes I wonder what are their perception of me as a teacher. Really hope they learnt something. I'm not sure if they learnt from my lessons or it's just a growing up process for kids where as the day goes by they automatically grow smarter. I do miss them but I think that 2 months is enough, I deserve a break.

A salute to all the teachers I had and all the teachers out there. It's amazing how they could teach as a long term duty, deal with monstrous kids and all variety of kids, persevere though it may be hard, and most importantly, be patient, loving and continue on with their job. Teachers are truly heroes. #youallwinliaolo but it's true. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank all the teachers out there. You guys are amazebombs. Continue doing what you guys are doing and do it even better.

The 2 little beasts that I see 2 hours a day, 3 days a week 

My proudest work of art (If you call it art)

Goodbye Letzhop. I'm not hopping anymore. 

Old Folks Home Visit

Yesterday, 10th August 2014, I experienced my first ever visit to a home. Can you believe it? In 18 years of my life I've never done this before. 

Homeless. 

I actually wouldn't consider them homeless because they are living in a home and not living on the streets. Nonetheless, it still saddens me to see people being left in homes that are not theirs. If you know what I mean. Seeing some of the people in the old folks home yesterday, I observed that some of them are not very old. Don't you think it's pretty sad that the not-so-old people being put in an old folks home? Some of them I reckon could live another 10 to 20 years. Being in an old folks home for 10 to 20 years is a pretty long time don't you think?

One of the questions that were asked to the kids and youths who visited the old folks home before we left were

"Why do we visit the old folks home?"

To be honest, I've never thought about it. I ask myself why. Sometimes, as a church, we do things out of obligations. We often give cliche answers when questioned. Eg: "Because Jesus loves the less fortunate." or "Because we want to show them God's love." Yes. The answers are true but how often to we really mean what we say? Do we really love the less fortunate like how Jesus loves them or do we love the less fortunate because don't want to look like a "bad christian"? Are we really going there to show them God's love or are we just going there for the sake of going there? 

My own experience

I'm not sure if you ever noticed but some of this people living in the old folks home are actually lonely and some of them have very low self-esteem. One of the uncles that I was helping during craft time broke my heart a little when I was talking to him. Though the craft was easy, I could see that he perceives himself as useless because of the pessimism that he shows. He kept saying "I did it wrongly. It can't be successful." and it saddens me a lot as I tried to encourage him as we were doing. I kept telling him that he was doing an amazing job and he kept smiling and laughing. He then went on to tell me that he has been staying the in the home for quite some time now and he doesn't have any friends. All he does there is watch tv.

Come to think of it now, my heart breaks. He kept asking me where do I live and due to communication barriers. I don't know if he understood. I think that he keeps asking the same question over and over again is because he longs for a companion. Someone he could often talk to. Someone that actually cares for him. 

One thing that I regret the most about yesterday is not really connecting with the old people due to the craft issues and communication barriers. I would say that I wasn't mentally prepared to do what I was supposed to do. I did not give my all and that really sucks. I hope that next year would be better.

For more pictures and videos of the song we sang, please visit Wesley Klang Sunday School facebook page