Stories From The Cab

Since I started working in the beginning of the month, I've been commuting to the office and back most of the time by public transport. I do dread travelling daily and having any human interaction especially in the mornings, stories from each driver I meet do teach me some important lessons in life.

Many drivers give up the comfort of a 9-5 office job to join Grab or Uber. The things they've been through, the stories they've heard from other passengers does leave a mark in the lives of others. So far I've only encountered one creepy driver who had many questions and comments about how I look and the heritage I came from.

This is how our conversation began:
Driver: *some Cantonese words*
Me: *in whatever broken Cantonese that I could speak* I can't speak Cantonese
Driver: Then what can you speak? Mandarin?
Me: Yea.
*starts conversation in Mandarin*
Driver: You're very tall. How tall are you? 170+cm?
Me: No no. I'm only 165ish.
Driver: I'm only a little bit taller than you. Why don't you be a model?
Me: Because I'm not slim enough?
Driver: *checks me out* you're not very fat. Girls look nice with a little bit of meat.
Me: *feeling uncomfortable* Okay...
Driver: What's your surname?
Me: Lim.
Driver: I'm also a Lim. We are siblings. Hokkien lang?
Me: Yes

*starts conversation in Hokkien*
Driver: Do you cook?
Me: Sometimes
Driver: I don't know how to cook. Last time when my mum was around I used to have home cooked food. She passed away a few years ago. I live alone now so I eat out everyday. Next time I can go over and you cook for me? I can't even fry egg.
Me: *speechless*

Other times I encountered businessmen who taught me a few pointers.
Today, I met this driver who said
"If you continue to work for people, you're making other people's dream come true. You're wasting your talent on other people's dreams.
If you start your own business, you're using your own talent to the fullest and making your own dream come true."

 Once I met a lady who has 2 kids, she remarried a guy who is about 10 years younger than she is. Struggling with life as a grabcar driver but still living a happy life.

Lives of these ordinary everyday heroes teaches the people around them life lessons we just need to pay closer attention to it.

In His Time

The entire week has been hectic for me with assignments but by God's grace, I survived! We all survived. I'm writing this post in dedication of this whole week because God's timing has been so perfect, placing everything at a perfect timing for His perfect purpose.

Started this entire week busy with uni stuff; two assignment submissions, one reflection submission; one quiz; plus one unexpected quiz; and CF commitments. I don't deny that it is stressful but in this 'storm', God provided me with the right people, right conversations, and just the right kind of support I needed.

3 moments that is worth sharing this week regarding God's timing:
i. Having people staying up with me throughout the process of completing the assignments
I don't know what I did to deserve friends like them. It's simply a blessing to have friends that share the same mind. Checking each other's work and affirming each other's progress; having a listening ear to rant about wanting to give up and wash drains yet end up being encouraged at the end of the conversation.

ii. Having the right people to talk to at the right time:
Though I'm still having a difficult time deciding whether to accept the position or not, I thank God for the support of my beloved mamas and teacher adviser. I think right now, it doesn't matter if I take the position or not because the team will share the equal amount of responsibility but not everybody will share the same burden. I don't want to take this position feeling as if it's a burden but I want to feel the joy of the Lord overwhelming me as I choose to serve Him and do His Kingdom work where He called me.
Just had a talk with Joanna in CG when we were discussing about prayer, and being reminded to pray about it is one thing that I will take away from our conversation.

iii. Falling down (literally):
I haven't fell down in a very long time which means that I have no felt this kind of physical, tangible pain for ages. I admit it kinda feels good. But my point is what better time to fall down and get injured than this! It's not every time I serve that I don't have to stand. It's not every weekend I get to play the keyboard for main service. It's not a coincidence that I fell and injured my left leg instead of my right leg. Moreover, it's not a coincidence that it's mid sem break and I don't have to wear jeans or go to uni for 5 days a week.
God is sovereign and in control. I could only imagine falling down and getting my leg injured and having to stand for long hours and sing with this amount of physical pain; or getting my right leg injured and having to move it constantly as I step on the pedals to sustain each key.

I could only think of this week, smile and give thanks. Thank You Jesus for reminding me again that You are faithful, You are in control, Your timing is perfect, and You are a real God and that I love You for who You are.

Ending this week with a smile, and in hope of an amazing next week with God by my side every step of the way.  

Facts That Hurt

I've been showered with too many facts that has left my dumbfounded today. Many too personal and many that sank my heart to the bottom of the ocean.

Attending this Junior World Entrepreneurship Forum (JWEF) thing has definitely been a bonding session that has allowed the DARTE gang to hang out more despite our busy schedules. I am thankful for this group of people that have opened my eyes to a world that I've been shadowed from but I am having doubts about knowing this world of theirs. I might be in the world but I know I am not of the world. Hence, some things I find difficult to accept but I truly truly love the people which leaves my heart in conflict.

I've learnt many things today that as a 20 year old I should have known earlier. I may have known some stuff but it all seemed so distance to me that it is almost not relatable but not till now. Not when it is happening to someone you know personally. Sometimes I want to know things but at the same time I don't want to lose my innocence or be bothered by it. Right now, my heart aches for them. I can only imagine how much more God's heart aches for them.

Jesus I pray that You'll change hearts
I pray that Your will be done
As You open my eyes and filled me with compassion
I pray You turn them back to Your original plan

Teach me Lord, not to judge
Teach me Lord, to love them much
Use me Lord, to touch their hearts
Use me Lord, Your will be done

I Vaguely Remember

I vaguely remember the smile on your face
I vaguely remember the smell that you take
I vaguely remember your touch on my waist
I vaguely remember the love that you gave

Yet what I see even to this day is that I'm still haunted by my every mistake
All that we had just happened too fast simply because I was wanted to be a part
Yes I admit that you made me smile but I will never forget the tears as night falls
A year has pass but there's still scars, I'm still slowly falling apart

Seeing you daily doesn't help my case
you seem so fine in that thick brown case
I wonder if you feel the same way
I wonder if being here is a big mistake

Things start showing, people start digging
I can't help but feel that people are judging
It's probably just me, that much I know
But I can't seem to find comfort in the friends that I know

Will they understand? Will they walk away?
I'm afraid that it'll all happen the very same way
Keep your mask on, I say everyday
Yet I know that one day it might crumble away

I vaguely remember the friends that I made
I vaguely remember the support that they gave
I vaguely remember being so free
I vaguely remember just being me

To Daddy and Mummy From Me

So I was suppose to do something for my Creative Media class and somehow I ended up writing this story and then this so called poem. 

When I was writing this story, all that came to my mind was my family, particularly my daddy and mummy and how I often take them for granted.

I believe that no matter what, our parents are always there for us. So often we don't see and try to push them away but when we're truly in need, they are the first ones that come into our mind to call for rescue.

So thank you daddy and thank you mummy for always standing by me, for giving me that love that never ceases. I love you.

Integrity

What does it mean to be a person of integrity? We are living in a time and age where integrity is a scarce characteristic in a person. Sometimes I wonder how people could behave in such ways without feeling even a tinge of guilt.

It's so common that people who cheat and lie are better off than those who do the right thing. Is being better off really better off than having integrity and dignity? 

Standing up for what is right could be so hard. You often end up in the losing end, feeling suckish when you see the people around you succeed. I don't know if I'm more upset about the fact that people do better when they cheat or that people are so ignorant doing things that they know it's wrong.

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard but you know in the end that it's for God's glory.

Dear Jesus, thank You for giving me the strength to do the right thing. My prayer this day is for the people to know the value of integrity to have the boldness to stand up for what is right. Continue to help me to be more like You. Help my life to be a living testimony unto Your Name. May my actions and words reflect Your image. In Jesus' Name I pray.

#20Facts

So there's this thing called 20 facts about me trending on Instagram now. I guess narcotizing effect finally got to people. Soon this will get old and there will be something new trending.

1. I am a princess because my Father is the King of kings. (How awesome this that?) I believe that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. 

2. I have a baby pillow named Binky which I HAVE TO bring when I travel. Oh and I have a reindeer named Cuddly. 

3. I have naturally wavy hair but I would pretty much like straight manageable hair. Hey I'm not complaining. I'm just saying. My wavy hair can look pretty good at times. 

4. I have a biological sister which I think is a genius and I'm so proud of her. You guys are looking at the soon-to-be Dr Lim here! #FunFactsWithGenie

I might have had some jealous moments but that doesn't make me love her less. 

Did I mention WE DO NOT LOOK ALIKE?

5. I love cartoons. My favorite is Lion King. I still watch cartoons online till now and I ain't gonna grow up. I also make it a MUST to watch Lion King at least once a year.

6. I am currently teaching Sunday School and it makes me soooooooooo happy. 

7. I could be the best or the worst person to work with. Why do I say so? I can be too nice sometimes. Let's be realistic here. When you're nice, people tend to take advantage of you. I am also a perfectionist when it comes to things I'm serious about. If you don't do your part or you don't do it up to standard, I WILL. And I won't get mad at you. I wouldn't even tell you cause I feel bad if I ask you to redo things. People I work with for assignments will know. So tell me if this is a good thing or a bad thing. 

8. I have a twinny named Pebbles and she has a boyfriend called Sheepz. No joke. Pebbles but she's not a rock, Sheepz but he's not an animal. I do not have an imaginary friends. We found out we are both so twinny-like when I accidentally read her journal during JS. I could never forget that moment when we lied there on the basketball court sharing our hearts out about ourselves and our experiences. Even till now we still go through the same things at almost the same time. No joke. 

9. I like all things pretty. (Clothes, dresses, nails, necklaces, bracelets, nail polish...)

10. Part of me is a girly girl. 

11. Part of me is tougher than a dude. I mean it. 

12. When I have a boyfriend, I would like to receive a necklace with a heart on it. Simply because I've always wanted a necklace with a heart. A necklace with a heart from family would be even more valuable.

13. I love creative art (music, dance, drama..) but I have ducky feet so I can't dance.

14. I have feet so broad that I call them duck feet and they're the reason I can't wear nice footwear. 

15. I DO NOT DO MORNINGS. When I hear the M word I get very very upset. 

The only time I do mornings is when it's for a good cause. I could wake up if I have to but I'd like mornings better if they started later. 

16. I love to SLEEEEP. It's one of my favorite words. I used to sleep in the train from Klang to KL Central and I would wake up just in time to get down. I also used to sleep standing in the LRT when there's no seats in the morning.

Sleeping 12 hours a day is easy peasy. 

17. I've learnt to set my goals high so when I fall, it wouldn't look that ugly. 

18. I'm an introvert but I can be really noisy with the people I'm comfortable with. Why did I even decide to take mass comm? I'm socially awkward in new places. When I'm socially awkward, I talk to myself cause it's comfort. 

19. I like to be seen as the independent, strong girl to the people around me but I like to depend on the people closest to me. It's always good to have a shoulder to lean on. 

20. I admit that being a Christian ain't easy. So many things to watch out for but I know that it's for my own good and my life is bought by a price so I'm suppose to live for God. Honestly, I'm trying to surrender my all to God and be that shining light that He has called me to be. Striving for perfection for His Name and His Renown. My desire is that my story will be His Glory. 

I'm not really a fan of trends but I would say this is something really nice to blog and 20 facts are too easy. I could go on and on and on but I won't. So here's the last fact because I just had to.

21. This is my favorite picture for many reasons. I'm wearing my favorite shirt, it's a picture with the coolest person/mentor/woman I've ever known, it was taken by an iPhone, and WE FINALLY DID THE BUZZ CUT!!! We're cool like that!

Okay okay last one because I feel bad for not doing this. 

22. The best year I had among the 19 years of my life is when I was 18 because I've met the most amazing people ever and I had the time of my life thanks to them. JS and UTAR is where I met the people who has made the biggest impact in my life. 

This is just a segment of the people I love the most.

Writing this post just reminded me of how blessed I am and I have no rights to complain about things.

Thank You Daddy for all the blessings you've given to me. Continue to write my story as Your story.