Integrity

What does it mean to be a person of integrity? We are living in a time and age where integrity is a scarce characteristic in a person. Sometimes I wonder how people could behave in such ways without feeling even a tinge of guilt.

It's so common that people who cheat and lie are better off than those who do the right thing. Is being better off really better off than having integrity and dignity? 

Standing up for what is right could be so hard. You often end up in the losing end, feeling suckish when you see the people around you succeed. I don't know if I'm more upset about the fact that people do better when they cheat or that people are so ignorant doing things that they know it's wrong.

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard but you know in the end that it's for God's glory.

Dear Jesus, thank You for giving me the strength to do the right thing. My prayer this day is for the people to know the value of integrity to have the boldness to stand up for what is right. Continue to help me to be more like You. Help my life to be a living testimony unto Your Name. May my actions and words reflect Your image. In Jesus' Name I pray.

#20Facts

So there's this thing called 20 facts about me trending on Instagram now. I guess narcotizing effect finally got to people. Soon this will get old and there will be something new trending.

1. I am a princess because my Father is the King of kings. (How awesome this that?) I believe that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. 

2. I have a baby pillow named Binky which I HAVE TO bring when I travel. Oh and I have a reindeer named Cuddly. 

3. I have naturally wavy hair but I would pretty much like straight manageable hair. Hey I'm not complaining. I'm just saying. My wavy hair can look pretty good at times. 

4. I have a biological sister which I think is a genius and I'm so proud of her. You guys are looking at the soon-to-be Dr Lim here! #FunFactsWithGenie

I might have had some jealous moments but that doesn't make me love her less. 

Did I mention WE DO NOT LOOK ALIKE?

5. I love cartoons. My favorite is Lion King. I still watch cartoons online till now and I ain't gonna grow up. I also make it a MUST to watch Lion King at least once a year.

6. I am currently teaching Sunday School and it makes me soooooooooo happy. 

7. I could be the best or the worst person to work with. Why do I say so? I can be too nice sometimes. Let's be realistic here. When you're nice, people tend to take advantage of you. I am also a perfectionist when it comes to things I'm serious about. If you don't do your part or you don't do it up to standard, I WILL. And I won't get mad at you. I wouldn't even tell you cause I feel bad if I ask you to redo things. People I work with for assignments will know. So tell me if this is a good thing or a bad thing. 

8. I have a twinny named Pebbles and she has a boyfriend called Sheepz. No joke. Pebbles but she's not a rock, Sheepz but he's not an animal. I do not have an imaginary friends. We found out we are both so twinny-like when I accidentally read her journal during JS. I could never forget that moment when we lied there on the basketball court sharing our hearts out about ourselves and our experiences. Even till now we still go through the same things at almost the same time. No joke. 

9. I like all things pretty. (Clothes, dresses, nails, necklaces, bracelets, nail polish...)

10. Part of me is a girly girl. 

11. Part of me is tougher than a dude. I mean it. 

12. When I have a boyfriend, I would like to receive a necklace with a heart on it. Simply because I've always wanted a necklace with a heart. A necklace with a heart from family would be even more valuable.

13. I love creative art (music, dance, drama..) but I have ducky feet so I can't dance.

14. I have feet so broad that I call them duck feet and they're the reason I can't wear nice footwear. 

15. I DO NOT DO MORNINGS. When I hear the M word I get very very upset. 

The only time I do mornings is when it's for a good cause. I could wake up if I have to but I'd like mornings better if they started later. 

16. I love to SLEEEEP. It's one of my favorite words. I used to sleep in the train from Klang to KL Central and I would wake up just in time to get down. I also used to sleep standing in the LRT when there's no seats in the morning.

Sleeping 12 hours a day is easy peasy. 

17. I've learnt to set my goals high so when I fall, it wouldn't look that ugly. 

18. I'm an introvert but I can be really noisy with the people I'm comfortable with. Why did I even decide to take mass comm? I'm socially awkward in new places. When I'm socially awkward, I talk to myself cause it's comfort. 

19. I like to be seen as the independent, strong girl to the people around me but I like to depend on the people closest to me. It's always good to have a shoulder to lean on. 

20. I admit that being a Christian ain't easy. So many things to watch out for but I know that it's for my own good and my life is bought by a price so I'm suppose to live for God. Honestly, I'm trying to surrender my all to God and be that shining light that He has called me to be. Striving for perfection for His Name and His Renown. My desire is that my story will be His Glory. 

I'm not really a fan of trends but I would say this is something really nice to blog and 20 facts are too easy. I could go on and on and on but I won't. So here's the last fact because I just had to.

21. This is my favorite picture for many reasons. I'm wearing my favorite shirt, it's a picture with the coolest person/mentor/woman I've ever known, it was taken by an iPhone, and WE FINALLY DID THE BUZZ CUT!!! We're cool like that!

Okay okay last one because I feel bad for not doing this. 

22. The best year I had among the 19 years of my life is when I was 18 because I've met the most amazing people ever and I had the time of my life thanks to them. JS and UTAR is where I met the people who has made the biggest impact in my life. 

This is just a segment of the people I love the most.

Writing this post just reminded me of how blessed I am and I have no rights to complain about things.

Thank You Daddy for all the blessings you've given to me. Continue to write my story as Your story. 

Not Hopping Anymore

Work work work. Had my first job for 3 months at this lovely place called Letzhop. I would say it's a love-hate relationship.

I would say that the 3 months I've worked in Letzhop as an underpaid labourer has been quite an experience. I still don't understand why would parents want to send their 4 year old kids for the same tuition 3 days in a week. It totally doesn't make sense. THEY'RE FOUR YEARS OLD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!! When I was 4, I was having the time of my life being a kid. Staying at home, watching tv and playing. NOT having tuition classes. Parents nowadays. Shame on you. 

When you have too much time to prepare for lessons,
you draw on the board.

The progress throughout the months working was from 1 class to 2 classes to 3 classes per week of my four working days. Different classes, different students, different experiences. Technically it was like I love hate my job, then I love my job, then I hate my job, then it's not that bad. Hence came about my conclusion of the love-hate relationship.

There are times when my boss leaves me alone in the centre and I got to do my own thing/prepare for the lesson, I literally got to do my own things. Scroll through social medias and watch tv series or movies. It was that great but I would say that's not my favorite part of my job. The favorite part was actually preparing the crafts, doing crafts with the kids, taking pictures of them, and seeing their work being pasted on the walls or doors of the classrooms.
#AchievementUnlock

Actually sometimes I wonder how are the two little monsters right now. Some part of me actually misses them though some part of me is rejoicing that I don't have to deal with them anymore. Teaching this two kids was a real test of patience. Copping with a slow learner and a fast learner at the same time isn't as easy as it seems though they're both 4 year olds. You could see the difference in their personality, intelligence and maturity.

The 2 kids that came for class 3 days a week class was definitely the cutest couple ever. A boy and a girl. Awww. It's funny to see the girl boss the boy around. Seeing these 2 through the 2 months of classes was like visually learning Social Psychology. The theories are true! Sometimes I wonder what are their perception of me as a teacher. Really hope they learnt something. I'm not sure if they learnt from my lessons or it's just a growing up process for kids where as the day goes by they automatically grow smarter. I do miss them but I think that 2 months is enough, I deserve a break.

A salute to all the teachers I had and all the teachers out there. It's amazing how they could teach as a long term duty, deal with monstrous kids and all variety of kids, persevere though it may be hard, and most importantly, be patient, loving and continue on with their job. Teachers are truly heroes. #youallwinliaolo but it's true. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank all the teachers out there. You guys are amazebombs. Continue doing what you guys are doing and do it even better.

The 2 little beasts that I see 2 hours a day, 3 days a week 

My proudest work of art (If you call it art)

Goodbye Letzhop. I'm not hopping anymore. 

Old Folks Home Visit

Yesterday, 10th August 2014, I experienced my first ever visit to a home. Can you believe it? In 18 years of my life I've never done this before. 

Homeless. 

I actually wouldn't consider them homeless because they are living in a home and not living on the streets. Nonetheless, it still saddens me to see people being left in homes that are not theirs. If you know what I mean. Seeing some of the people in the old folks home yesterday, I observed that some of them are not very old. Don't you think it's pretty sad that the not-so-old people being put in an old folks home? Some of them I reckon could live another 10 to 20 years. Being in an old folks home for 10 to 20 years is a pretty long time don't you think?

One of the questions that were asked to the kids and youths who visited the old folks home before we left were

"Why do we visit the old folks home?"

To be honest, I've never thought about it. I ask myself why. Sometimes, as a church, we do things out of obligations. We often give cliche answers when questioned. Eg: "Because Jesus loves the less fortunate." or "Because we want to show them God's love." Yes. The answers are true but how often to we really mean what we say? Do we really love the less fortunate like how Jesus loves them or do we love the less fortunate because don't want to look like a "bad christian"? Are we really going there to show them God's love or are we just going there for the sake of going there? 

My own experience

I'm not sure if you ever noticed but some of this people living in the old folks home are actually lonely and some of them have very low self-esteem. One of the uncles that I was helping during craft time broke my heart a little when I was talking to him. Though the craft was easy, I could see that he perceives himself as useless because of the pessimism that he shows. He kept saying "I did it wrongly. It can't be successful." and it saddens me a lot as I tried to encourage him as we were doing. I kept telling him that he was doing an amazing job and he kept smiling and laughing. He then went on to tell me that he has been staying the in the home for quite some time now and he doesn't have any friends. All he does there is watch tv.

Come to think of it now, my heart breaks. He kept asking me where do I live and due to communication barriers. I don't know if he understood. I think that he keeps asking the same question over and over again is because he longs for a companion. Someone he could often talk to. Someone that actually cares for him. 

One thing that I regret the most about yesterday is not really connecting with the old people due to the craft issues and communication barriers. I would say that I wasn't mentally prepared to do what I was supposed to do. I did not give my all and that really sucks. I hope that next year would be better.

For more pictures and videos of the song we sang, please visit Wesley Klang Sunday School facebook page

Croaking in My Head

I truly think that I'm out of my mind. I know what I want. I want to be free. Which job will I study that I won't get tied down? Nothing I presume. 

Currently sitting at the balcony watching a crow and feeling the wind blow. It feels good. It feels right. Always loved nature. I believe that I always will. 

I just went for an interview for degree in primary education in Taylor's and hmmm it is persuasive but I'm too hard headed to be moved. It's too difficult. Circumstances doesn't suit me. With lack of resources I know it's going to be a struggle. But the fruit of the labour will be rewarding. 

I think I'm pretty sure of what I want to do and what I can do now. Hope that my heart doesn't do me wrong. God please lead me. Please guide me. I really don't want to go against your plans. 

Still struggling. Still thinking. Still praying

I know it's a little late. Whoops let me rephrase. I know it's SUPER LATE! but hey it's still 2014 and it's worth welcoming. WELCOME 2014 ☺☺☺ 7 months has gone by and the 8th month of the year is here. Which simply means it's the month where the best babies were/are/going to be born. August babies are the best. Being too bias here. I know. 

Went through so many many many ups and downs in life this year that I think this is the most ups and downs I've gone through. Well, who ever said that life was perfect? NOT ME. But no matter how many ups and downs we may face in life, it gives me peace to know that God is always with me. He is always faithful and His grace is everlasting. 

So the "torture" of being in a ever so cina college surrounded with some not so cina amazing, lovely people. Yes! I've finished my pre-u. Though I kinda missed studying a lot, I'm thankful that I passed the almost unpassable (Why is there no such word?) subject that I never thought I would pass. I was so prepared for sem4 but WOW. This is a miracle that only God could do. Thank You Daddy above ☺

I've left UTAR for 3 months now and I've not started uni or anything. 3 months of being on holiday, the golden question that everybody asks is "So what are you doing now?" Well to answer that question, it's not that hard to guess. What I'm doing is what you're seeing me do. Standing, sitting, eating, talking, answering your question. But on the more serious note, I'm working. Yes I got my very first job in the 18 years of my life. Sadly, my answers are never satisfying enough, the next question they will ask is "So what do you plan to do?" This may be the most hated question in history of hated questions for those who are still thinking what they want to do. The answer to this question is simple. 3 words "I DON'T KNOW" Sad huh. 

2 questions that people need to stop being insensitive to when you ask someone who just finish pre-u. 

1) So what are you doing now?

2) So what do you plan to do?

On a side note, I really don't know what to do and I don't know what I want to be and I don't know what I see myself doing in 5 years time. I know I'm running out of time but I think I would rather think through what I want to do than to jump into a course that I might later on regret. I rather waste half a year thinking than 3 years regretting. Well I guess my current status now is "Still struggling. Still thinking. Still praying." 

Thank You 2013

Well, this is it. This is the last day of 2013. If you've not finish cancelling all those things from your 2013 new years resolution or set your 2014 new years resolution, you have less than 24 hours to do so. Have fun. 

Anyway, as 2013 draws to a close I really want to thank God for all the blessings and blessings in disguise throughout this year. I would say 2013 has been the best year of this 18 years of living on planet earth. It's a year with the most special, lovely, memorable, amazing and blessed memories that I had and I believe that there's more to come in the following years. Definitely a lifetime worth living. 

Here are some highlights for this year. I know I won't be able to list all of them so I'll just share the ones that left the biggest impact on me in chronological order. 

My JS Family

Was MIA from home during the first 2 months of 2013. Some may have known where was I missing to while some I was simply gone with the wind after high school.

Just so you know I did not die during the first 2 months of 2013, I was in Jeremiah School aka JS. NO it's nothing like National Service (NS) and it's

Twinny

nothing like jail. Technically I learnt a lot from JS. From theological stuff (OT, NT, Methodism, Spiritual Warfare) to psychological stuff (How to manage your emotions, Resolving conflicts) to personal stuff (BGR, Family, Love). My favorite part of JS definitely wasn't washing hand washing my own clothes nor is it beach day but it was the Quiet Retreats. During Quiet Retreats, we were not allowed to communicate with anybody for 11 and a half hours, only time with God. I remember during one of the Quiet Retreats, the mentors led us in a meditation on Psalm 23. Let's say Psalm 23 is a familiar passage of scripture to me yet this time while it was being read over and over again and we were led walking through a field and several stairs with our eyes closed by a rod, I felt God asking me 'Do you not trust me enough?' and that was my biggest melting point.

Not-So-Little Little Brother

I've been wrestling with God for quite some time about ministries and studies and I was reminded to trust God because "He leads me in paths of righteousness for His Name's sake". When we were given time for our own meditation during the Quiet Retreat, I really felt God's presence through nature. I could just stare at the sea for hours and think of God's goodness. I really enjoy being close to nature because to me it's like being part of the original sight when there was no buildings or pollution. It was just like being in the Garden of Eden. Only God and us. No distractions.

Weekend Visitation (Kuala Lipis)

One of the things I enjoyed the most were weekend visitations where we get to visit different churches every weekend. Though all the churches we visited are part of TRAC, it's still kinda different in the sense like how the service is run and the culture of the people from the place. Not only that we got to meet old and new faces we met from camps and events. We also got to bond with each other more as a JS family. 

Learnt so many things in JS. The discipline and the fellowship shall not be forgotten. And I thank God that through JS, I've found my twinny, my sisters, my brothers, my mentors, my friends, and my God. Love all you 24+6+those-who-come-and-go. Thank you for being part of my life and thank you for journeying with me in my walk with Daddy.

 After JS I came home to find the youths in church doing pretty well. There was initial hurt when I came back because of expectations but the love showered down by church members and some of my mates after that was incredible. It definitely brighten me up. So I had 2 to 3 months of free time, hence, I finally got my license, found a college, went on a holiday, plan for a rally, went for youth camp, planned an Easter sketch for the kids, visited my CF, and got my SPM results. No biggy.

Then it all ended when I started this thing called college. College=A whole new world. Yes hear me sing!!!! College was literally a whole new world in a good way and also in a bad way. Before I started college, many warned me about the potential dangers in college but it's not that bad. Well at least not in the college that I'm in.

First Friends in College (The Es)

 College, college. During my first day of college, I always feared that it's going to be high school all over again. All the cina-cina people means I won't have any friends but I really thank God that He placed me in a class with amazing people. Amazing ENGLISH SPEAKING people. I also thank God for the nice-lecturer-turned-monster lecturer (if you know what I mean) because if it wasn't for her we wouldn't even be so close today. Looking back at all the memories of this 2 semester in college, I can't help but be thankful for all that He's given me. Sem 1 was amazing despite of the long long breaks, it really helped us to bond a lot in college. The sleepless nights, the google hangouts, the sleepovers, the movies, and the assignments. Sem 2 was indescribable. The assignments drove me crazy, the timetable was satisfying, the lecturers were amazing, and the conflicts were............ anyhow, after 2 semesters, I learned who to trust as friends and who to trust in assignments. I also learnt that college is about the survival of the fittest but I believe that we all can be the fittest and we all can survive if we work together, work hard and work smart. 

Without college, I wouldn't have met my cookie. This guy has been my greatest blessing of 2013. I really thank God for him and I couldn't ask for more. We've been through thick and thin together. He's seen things in me that I don't even see. He's taught me to be strong and to see the light of things instead of the shadows. He's taught me how to love and how to trust. He's taught me how to give and take, to accept love freely. Most importantly he taught me to open up and to smile through the storms. Many times we fight and there are times where it seems like there's no hope but in the end there's always a rainbow. This cookie of mine took me to places I've never been just so I could experience what he has experienced. The heart of gold that I don't deserve yet he is willing to go beyond the borders to captivate me, always going the extra mile just to see me smile. To my mirror that I always want to see smile, he has the smile that could melt even the hardest hard. If you were to ask me what's my best memory with him I would say it was during his birthday at the park where we just walked aimlessly surrounded by greenery and when we reached a place, he just carried me and twirled me around. I always wished that we had a camera then to capture that perfect scene when the time seemed to have stopped and everything seemed so perfect. But it's okay that sight has already been engraved in my heart. 

I'm sorry for the times that I hurt you or disappoint you. The truth is I always wanted the best for you just as you want the best for me. Seeing this baby smile is like seeing the light shine. So here's to the 6 months; to be exact here's to the 197 days of love and blessing you have given me. I'm looking forward to spending days with you.

So as 2013 draws to an end, I really thank God for each and every one of you who come and go in my life and I pray that you'll have blessed years ahead. Each of you are significant whether you admit it or not. Continue to be a blessing. I would also like to apologize to those whom I've hurt or offended in any way. Please forgive me. And to those who still hold grudges I pray that you'll find heart to forgive and be forgiven because Jesus had died so that we could be forgiven and that we could forgive.

Bukit Cahaya

My Queen & My Cookie

Sisters From Another Mother

Sticks and Stones May Break Our Bones but Jesus Holds Us Together

Broga 

Eugene's Birthday

Christy's Birthday

My Favorite Slide